According to Awesome
by ninjakat405
Summary: The everyday life of Prussia, fit to the lyrics of "I'm Awesome", by Spose! Follow Prussia as he get's into all kinds of antics. And constantly calls himself awesome...Rated T because it's Prussia. Prussia-centic. Most characters will be in here.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Whooo! First Prussia fic! So, this is a song-fic...kind of. Every scene is based off a lyric of "I'm Awesome" byt the Spose Brothers. Go ahead, look up the lyrics. You'll find them in here. But, I'm kind of twisting the scenes and stuff to make it fit and stuff, so updates may be spread apart.

Now, before I begin: WARNINGS! There's mentions of drugs in here. Crack to be exact. And vital regions. Other than it, it's pretty clean. For this chapter anyway.

Yes, chapters. This is the everyday life of Prussia. Hope you like it!

**I do not own Hetalia! I do not own the song, "I'm Awesome", or any other mentions of copy-written things I've mentioned in here. **

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><p>Prussia slid the black shirt over his head and ran a hand through his snow-white hair. He glanced at himself in his full-length mirror hanging from the wall. He smirked, red eyes flashing.<p>

He placed his hands on either side of the mirror.

"You are awesome", he chanted. "No one ever hope to overcome your unbelievably high level of awesomeness, you gorgeous king of Awesome." He laughed. "I'm awesome!"

"No, you are not, if you continue to do that every morning," Germany said, holding out a large manila envelope. "Stop wasting time and get this to Austria, like you said you would yesterday, and I will not tolerate you staying another night in my room and, no, I will not clean yours up to make that possible. I also found your bird in a bowl of beer this morning, if you are looking for him."

Prussia ruffled his younger brother's perfectly jelled hair with a chuckle. Germany's scowl deepened.

"Man, Gilbird really knows how to party, right?" He snatched the envelope up. "Don't worry, West, I got this."

Germany grunted and started picking up his room, trashed by Prussia's sudden claim of territory, and watched his brother's exit.

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><p>Hungary stood by the garage door, one hand on her hip, the other outstretched, palm open towards Prussia as he walked into Austria's house.<p>

"Hey, babe", Prussia said, a smirk on his lips. Gilbird trilled his own greeting. Hungary's fingers twitched and her frown tightened, but she didn't respond. "Oh yeah! The keys!" He fished in his pocket for the ring of car keys and dumped them in her hand.

Hungary's posture relaxed and she counted the number of keys on the chain. "I'm surprised you haven't crashed yet", she muttered.

"Me? Crash? Kesesese, I'm too awesome to do something as stupid as that. Now where's the killjoy? Germany gave me something for him."

"If you're so awesome, stop asking to use my car. Mr. Austria's waiting in the piano room."

"What does he do, sleep in there?" But Hungary has already left the room.

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><p>Austria's eyes ran back and forth as they scanned the papers, the print reflected in miniscule on the glass of his spectacles.<p>

"Ah, this is the edition of the new piece I plan on publishing", Austria thought aloud, shuffling the papers before sliding them back into the manila folder. He placed it on top of the piano. "You may go now."

"Why the hell did West have something like piano music," Prussia asked, not rising from his seat in front of Austria.

"Because I asked him to review it and make any edits."

"And he actually did?" Prussia laughed.

Austria glared at the albino from over the rim of his glasses. "Germany has quite a nice taste in music and he does create many pieces of music, if you didn't happen to know."

"Wow, West has a hobby. A sucky, girly hobby. He really needs to get laid."

"Yes, well, don't you have someone else to intrude upon?"

"I can 'intrude upon' on anyone I want to, but you're my favorite!"

"So that explains why you're always here", Austria said sullenly.

"Don't be so down about it! You should feel honored to have someone as awesome as me in your presence!"

"Yes, you keep telling yourself that."

"Kesesese, I don't need to tell myself, I have my friends for that!"

"Do you mean the ones you met online playing Call of Duty online?"

Prussia stood up, his hand curling into a fist.

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><p>Prussia stalked out of the room, a scowl on his mouth and a red mark blooming on his cheek, where Austria had slapped him after he'd tried to punch the musician.<p>

He turned down the hall, looking for Hungary to get another ride home, when Gilbird circled his head frantically in a flurry of cheeps and golden feathers.

"Hey, bro, what's up?" The Prussian reached up to grasp the yellow fluff ball but the bird squawked and darted around the hand. "Gilbird, calm down, will you?" The bird bobbed back the way he had come before zipping back and fluttering to rest on Prussia's head. It ruffled its tiny wings anxiously.

Prussia slipped down the hall, where the bird had come in from, and peered into the adjoining room. He could hear Hungary's voice. He shuddered at the anger on it and, atop his head, Gilbird tweeted nervously.

"This is sexual harassment", Hungary said. Prussia assumed she was on the phone from the lack of a response. "I can sure punch your lights out like a man. Maybe then we'll see who's the girl." Another pause. "And I could just as easily rip off your balls and tape them to me. I'd still be more of a man than you'd ever be, Romania!"

Prussia turned tail and ran. The conversation could get ugly, or in this case uglier, if she was talking to the creep Romanian. And he definitely didn't want to get caught in the middle of that fight. Even though he'd win, because Awesome never lost. Awesome also knew when to run from a brawl.

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><p>"Everyone's so boring", Prussia groaned as he checked his phone after his walk home. There were no text messages, no missed calls, no voicemails, not even a ring from France and Spain.<p>

He flopped onto the couch and was about to toss the cell phone carelessly onto the pillow next to him when it started ringing. Excitedly, he picked it up and answered.

"Yo, you're calling the embodiment of awesomeness!"

"Prussia!" he heard Italy shout happily in his singsong voice. Prussia smiled. Italy could be so cute at times. "Is Germany there? Or called? Or have you seen him? I tried calling him, but he didn't answer and Japan didn't know either so I thought maybe I'd ask you", he babbled.

"Italy, breath. No, I haven't seen Germany. Well, I saw him this morning before I left, but he's not home. Why you looking for him? I thought you were practically glued to him."

"Well, America started talking about some house in the South of the country exploding and said something about finding a bunch of bags of snow called eight balls. Then, big brother France suggested America to bring one and we could have a party! England punched him after, but I wanted to ask Germany to come to the party!"

Prussia sniggered and tried his hardest to swallow his laughter. "I-Italy, I don' think Germany w-would like to go to that party", he said, tripping over the words in his attempt to keep his chuckles down. "With France there and all", he quickly added. "Don't go by yourself near that guy either, not after last time. Just don't go to that party at all, alright?"

"Okay…I'll try Germany again, so in case he heard about the party, he'll know that I won't be going!"

"Alright, see ya, Veneziano." Prussia hung up and burst out laughing until his chest heaved with the effort of trying to take a breath in, and his stomach cramped. He shook his head. "America's in dept, and yet I can take all of West's money and I still won't have enough money to afford eight balls."

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><p>The sun was setting, another day almost over. Prussia sat in a corner of his room, the door locked so his brother couldn't sneak up on him and opened up a new page in yet another diary book. He clicked his pen and started writing.<p>

_Dear Awesome Diary,_ he started.

_I've had yet another awesome day! And I've learned a bunch of new awesome things today. I learned West doesn't have a life, and he really, really, _really_, needs to get laid. (Italy practically begs, but he has too many Kartoffles in his head to see it.). He writes totally un-awesome symphonies. With Austria! I thought he could barely stand little Veneziano. I also learned that if Hungary cuts off Romania's wurst and tapes it to her vital regions, she'd still be more manly than creepy Romania. Kesese. I also learned I really, really need to teach Italy what drugs are. _

With love, the Awesome Prussia: King of Awesomeness


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Whoo! Second Chapter! So, just to let you all know, each chapter is roughly two stanzas of the song, in case you want to know why everything is happening like it is.

Warnings! Beer. France. Cute dogs.

I do not own Hetalia! But I do have the movie~! Find my house and I'll reward you with a Hetalia movie and popcorn. XD I also do not own the song "I'm Awesome"!

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><p>Prussia was interrupted in his morning prep talk by the shrill ring of his cell phone. His "Awesome" was cut off halfway as he turned from the mirror and jumped on the phone. He grinned at the caller ID.<p>

"Yo guys, what's up", he asked enthusiastically. Spain greeted him with a cheery good morning. "Whatcha calling so early for, man?"

"France found something interesting this morning and he said he had a plan! We're going to hang out tonight, but we need you too!"

"Of course you'd need someone like me to come. It wouldn't be a party without awesomeness! Where we going?"

Spain laughed. "That's the interesting part! It's a surprise."

"And I can't know? Not even a little hint", Prussia whined.

"Nope!"

"Fine. I'll see you tonight then. But you'll have to face my awesome wrath from having to wait!"

"I'll let France know so he can prepare."

Prussia chuckled and hung up, tossing his phone onto the bed. He reached to the electronic's left and picked up a pair of pants. He slid them on, adjusting them to barely cover his butt and securing them around his lower waist with a belt. He slipped on a red, long sleeve shirt and combed his bleach-white hair with his fingers.

With a quick "I'm awesome", at his reflection, he left the room in search of something to do during the time he had to wait for his friends to pick him up.

"I'm going out", Prussia called to the house, wondering if his brother was home.

"Did Spain and France call you?" he heard Germany ask. The taller, blond-haired man rounded the corner, a dishtowel in his hands and his three dogs trailing behind him. The dogs circled Prussia and he patted one on the head. Germany glanced down at his pets, then frowned at Prussia. "Bruder, I suggest pulling your pants up before they fall off."

The Prussian fround. "Come one, West! It's totally awesome to look like this!"

Germany grimanced. "Maybe ten years ago. Just make sure you don't embarrass me, ja?"

"Ja, ja, ja. I got it. So I guess I'll see you wherever France and Spain take us?"

"Ich glaube."

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><p>"Did they mention what they had planned to you", Germany asked.<p>

Prussia shrugged, then wondered if his younger brother could see it in the dark, only illuminated at equal intervals by street lamps. "No, they didn't tell me. So unawesome. All they said was to meet at the corner of this street."

Germany nodded as the two of them continued down the sidewalk, as directed by France and Spain from a call earlier.

"There they are", Prussia called out, pointing at two figures standing under a pool of artificial light from a lamp. The two heads lifted and Spain waved. Prussia could swear that he was able to see the glint of France's teeth as he grinned.

"There you guys are", Spain said, fist bumping Prussia and smiling at Germany.

France whispered something in the blond German's ear and he paled, shaking his head furiously, while the Frenchman laughed.

"Bonsoir, Prussia, Germany. Are you ready for tonight?"

"If I knew what was happening", Prussia muttered.

"Soon enough, soon enough."

The group headed down the street once more, led by the Spaniard and the Frenchman. Prussia walked between them, a confident smirk on his face. Germany trailed behind, a more wary expression masking his demeanor.

After a moment of silence, France glanced at the albino and chuckled.

"What", Prussia demanded.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing, Dummkopf? I'm walking!"

"Non, that doesn't look like just walking, chéri."

"It's my awesome swag!"

"It looks more like you are limping. Maybe we should find you crutches to help you walk straight?"

Spain sniggered on the other side. "Should I point out the little bulge in your stomach area while we're at it?" He proceeded to poke Prussia in the abdomen repeatedly as the Prussian tried to swipe the hands away, laughing.

"I am not fat!"

"Or that I can't see his muscles anymore?" France added, beginning to prod at his friend's biceps.

Germany snorted and shook his head.

"Look! We're here", Spain shouted.

The two ran ahead, and the Germans stood in front if a hastily erected tent, an orange banner hanging from the entrance. "Wurst-fest" was written in large, black lettering.

"Awesome", Prussia cried.

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><p>"U-und then…then he started singing", Prussia slurred, waving his hands. One hit Germany in the face; the other became covered in beer from the glass it clutched in his fingers.<p>

Despite the backhanded hit, Germany nodded agreement. Both German's faces were flushed and eyes were glazed over with drink.

"Ja", the blond said, despite the topic being about him. "It was in the shower, und Preuβen just walked in! Ich habe kein Idee gehabt!" He leaned forward and gripped his older brother by the shoulder, a drunken smile on his lips.

Spain and France burst out laughing with Prussia. Many heads turned in their direction. The group had been drinking for quite some time.

"Er-he was such a terrible singer! Unlike the awesome me!" Prussia then tried to show the two just how Germany was singing in a horrible rendition of the song.

"Your singing is defiantly not the best", France told him, one hand covering an ear. His other hand motioned for another round of drinks.

"I'm drunk", Prussia defended, and chugged the last half of his bottle beforing reaching for another.

"His singing isn't all that's bad with him", Spain reminded them, poking Prussia's stomach again.

France agreed and reached for his vital regions. Prussia punched him and started laughing, spitting his mouthful of beer all over him. He laughed harder.

"You are so obnoxious", Germany said, but even he was trying hard not to chuckle.

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><p><strong>AN: **Tranlations:

Ich glaube- I believe

Bonjoir-good evening

Cheri-darling

Ich habe kein Idee gehabt- I had no idea

So, this is just my random rant here. I don't know if you know already, but I have an account on FictionPress. It's been up for about two months now, but no one's read any of my stuff. I don't know if I should stop doing anything there or now. Opinions?

Rant is over. Thank for taking the time to read it!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **It's been awhile, I know, and I'm sssooooorrrrryyyy! But with vacation coming up, hopefully stuff will start to pick up, da? Anyway~ Here's another chapter! It's kind of sucky though...I didn't know what to do.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE AT THE END

**I don't own Hetalia.**

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><p>The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, bathing the new day in a pure, untainted, and golden light. The brightening sky was a mix of purples, yellows, and oranges, only broken by a scattering of thing gray clouds. The air was alive with the chittering of birds and the man-made sounds of shops opening.<p>

There was also the sound of two young women giggling sarcastically and whispering to each to each other as a certain albino flashed them a smirk. He frowned after their reaction.

Discouraged by their laughing, he pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt (with the Prussian eagle printed on the front, of course), his shoulders hunched.

Maybe it was the lighting that was making the girl repulsed. It was definitely not him. Nope, he was too awesome to be rejected. Not even the next two experiences could change his mind.

The first time, the woman scrunched up her nose in disgust. The next, the group of friends crossed the street and continued on their way.

Prussia scowled and scoffed his shoe against the cracked pavement of the sidewalk. A fairly large pebble bounced down the concrete path. He stepped up to it and kicked it again. And repeat.

He continued down the road this way, traffic slowly building up in the city as the morning continued on.

It was the third Friday of the month. By now, many of the nations would be waking up, the strengthening sunlight streaming lazily through half-closed blinds to fall on faces twisted with annoyance for the first day off the weekend-long world meeting.

Prussia had tagged along with his brother, but made sure to slip out of the hotel room early. Germany would just be a prune as soon as he woke – bustling around for his briefcase and reports, grumbling about missing his matching tie, and making sure to wake Italy in time – and Prussia didn't want to be there, bored and in the way, watching him get ready. At least he had left the bottle of Tylenol on the bedside table for the actual meeting.

It was too bad, now that Prussia could no longer go to the meetings. He couldn't make fun of Austria, or trade lewd jokes with France, or try to molest Canada from under the table.

Prussia kicked the pebble around the corner, his hands stuffed in his sweatshirt's pocket.

Nope, he could only walk around the city and wait for a lunch break to see everybody. Then it would be back to strolling along, seeing the sights, or dinking, until it was all over. Then do it all again the next day. And the next.

The chunk of concrete bounced back to Prussia's foot with a muffled _thump_. He glanced up to see a boot. Further up was a shirt, and a curling mess of light brown hair-

"Gah! Hungary", Prussia shouted, jumping back a step.

Hungary laughed. "You look as nervous as that old cat you hid from Austria when you were younger. Hiding something?"

"You mean Curtis?"

"Yeah, but Mr. Austria called him Dirty Curtis."

"Kesesese, how could I be hiding something? I'm not nervous at all!" _Although I don't feel like having my balls chopped off. I bet she can smell fear… _

Hungary took a step closer and Prussia gulped, his hands flying down instinctively to protect himself.

"What are you doing here, anyway? You're not going to crash the meeting this afternoon, right? Not going to sneak in or have France pass notes for you?"

"The awesome me doesn't do stuff as childish as passing notes or just crashing meetings. He has to do the awesome and go big or go home!"

"You begged your brother to let you come, didn't you?"

"Yeah…"

"And why are you here?"

"Trying to find a date to the bar. Want to come? But you'll have to pay. I'll start off with an awesome '_shall I compare thee to a summer's day' _or something. That gets the ladies, right?"

Hungary shook her head, an amused smile tugging at her lips as a passing group of teenagers burst into giggles. "Are you going to steal more cheesy lyrics?" She nodded to a little girl holding hands between her mother and father. "How about trying to impress her first? We can't have you biting off more than you can chew and possibly ruin your 'awesomeness', right?"

Prussia growled at her and stalked off. It wasn't like he was trying to get a date with an actress or anything. Just a bit of fun!

"Why don't you just go back to the hotel", Hungary asked, and Prussia jumped again, surprising a shudder. How did she keep popping up so suddenly? "It's no like you can come to the meeting anyway."

Prussia frowned. "Don't remind me." Since Prussia wasn't techniqully a nation anymore, he wasn't allowed to go to the world meetings. Sometimes he could join in on the meeting with Germany. Only sometimes. "And that stupid room smells like cat piss too."

Hungary laughed and his frown curled up into a scowl. "Fine! The awesome me doesn't need to have to put up with this!"

Annoyed, he stomped down the road. He was tempted to turn into the first store he saw open, but when he spotted the glowing open mic sign, he thought better of it. He wouldn't even be able to do anything, since most times he went on a show, his brother wrote all the etiquette down for him.

Maybe he could take Gilbird drinking.

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><p><strong>AN: **IMPORTANT MESSAGE THAT I SHALL BOLD BECAUSE IT'S THAT IMPORTANT! I know that in "I Can't Find My Birthday" (I think), I said I needed help with the last chapter of "Generators". Well, I'll ask again. **Can anyone please help me with a seme/Tsundere!England? It will make life easier and the smut come faster **(*wink* innuendo*wink*) **PM me or comment and I'll get back, alright? AND I SHALL KEEP ASKING UNTIL THERE IS A YES!**

And now for my head canon:

Prussia doesn't techniqully exist as a nation, but as a micro-nation. But he's still not allowed in the world meetings because he's not a nation. Sealand isn't allowed, so why should Prussia be?

That is all.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Okay, a new chapter, Finally, right! It's a bit short...and I was listening to the HetaOni soundtrack the entire time, so I apologize in advance...

Warnings are Prussia being Prussia, and alcohol. Whoo.

Yeah, yeah, I don't own Hetalia. Just the DVDs.

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><p>Prussia hiccupped and turned glossy eyes on the young man sitting on the stool next to him. He blinked, trying to clear his blurry vision. Why couldn't this guy just sit straight? Why did he have to move his head around so much? It was making this conversation frustrating.<p>

"Say it", Prussia goaded. "Go on. Tell me I'm awesome!" He was blissfully drunk, there was another round coming, and it was all going on Germany's tab. The kids had their fun at the meeting, and Prussia was having his. Or so he justified.

The man sitting at the bar – he was no more than thirty – turned to face the racks of bottles and watched the strange albino from the corners of his eyes. "Um…no, thank you."

"Don't lie! I'm awesome! And don't try to use that thing where I have to use my 'mom's' ride to get around. Not even my mother", he slurred.

The man spit out his sip of his drink before he could choke, and leaned over, coughing. He stared incredulously at the white-haired man. How drunk _was _this guy?

"Her husband hates me. Doesn't matter; I 'ate 'em too. 'E's always saying I wasted the fourth of my life and says my friends aren't real, they're all online or something. At least I have friends unlike that prick!" He reached for his glass, missing it by an inch. He gulped half of it down before continuing.

"I don't need friends. Online or not. Like Gilbird, right buddy?" He glanced over his shoulders and his eyes widened at the empty space before he burst out laughing again.

"Dude…are you joking", the man asked.

"Joking? No. I'm awesome!"

He shook his head, running a hand down his face, muttering. "Yeah, you've said so about a hundred times now."

"And I'll say it another hundreds time 'till _you_ say it!"

"I'm not going to call you awesome, you freak!"

Prussia prodded him with his empty pint glass, whining. The man swatted it away, disgusted. "Why not?"

"Because it's creepy." He pushed Prussia away from him. "You're creepy!"

"I'm awesome!"

"I get it!" He shoved Prussia again, and the albino lost his balance. He flailed his arms, to no avail. He toppled off his stool, crashing to the floor on his back.

"Verdammt! Du Bankert!" He jumped to his feet, but the floor rolled and gave out from under him. He stumbled forward, his arms swinging wildly in front of him as he fought to keep himself on his feet. His fist caught the man on his shoulder, while his other smashed into the bar, spilling both of their drinks. Despite his efforts, he fell into his drinking buddy.

The other shoved Prussia off him, jumping to his feet. His own drinks ran to his head, heating his blood and fanning his anger. "You trying to start something?"

"A dry-cleaning service", the nation grumbled, watching a beer stain spread across his shirt.

The next thing he knew, there was a fist connecting with his face and loud crack as his head snapped to the side, and Prussia was sent to the hard-wood floor of the bar once more.

Prussia scrambled to his feet, ducking under another punch, and made a mad dash for the exit.

There was the fluttering of wings, a flash of yellow, and the man screamed. A muffled _thump _sounded in the now quiet building.

Prussia slammed into the wall to stop his forward momentum. "_Gilbird_!"

He found the yellow fluff ball on the floor, motionless, the stupid man standing over him, a line of ruby red dripping from his knuckles.

With wide eyes, Prussia scooped Gilbird up and sprinted out to the streets.

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><p>Austria found him in his hotel room, holding a funeral for the bird on Austria's bed, in the hotel room's tissue box. It took the musician only minutes to piece together what had happened, and realize the albino was hopelessly drunk, and forever to convince him to leave his room.<p>

"I didn't think you could become much more of an idiot", Austria scolded, searching the hotel's mini fridge for some kind of an icepack. He settled for a can of soda and handed it to said idiot. "You never fail to prove me wrong."

Prussia switched the mug of coffee to his other hand to hold the freezing object to his swollen cheek. "At least I have fun."

"You were punched in the face, chased out of a bar, and almost had Gilbird killed. You call that fun?"

Prussia frowned, running his pinky along the tiny bandages wrapped around Gilbird's wing.

"Idiot. Did you even bother to call anyone?"

"No one ever calls me."

"Or you were too drunk to even think of it?" He sighed. "how much did all of that alcohol even cost you?"

Prussia shrugged. "I can't even afford the crack you guys are on. What makes you think I can buy beer? I put it all on-"

"Germany." Austria shook his head. "You're hopeless."

"At least I'm awesome at it!"

The spectacled man looked him over over the rim of his glasses. "Get out of my room, Prussia. I'm tired of looking at your face. Go bother your brother, go post something on that blog of yours."

Prussia picked up Gilbird gingerly and carried him off to his own hotel room.

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><p><strong>AN: **I didn't kill Gilbird! I'm nice! I also kind of like drunk Prussia...

Review? Please?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I'm going to focus more on this story now that I've run out of ideas, so you expect updates a lot faster now! Yay!

I still don't own Hetalia. Or any lrics to the song "I'm Awesome" by Spose.

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><p>"Stupid Austria, saying such uncool things to someone as awesome as me", Prussia muttered, kicking a dead branch. It bounced off a rock, half-sunk in a layer of moss, and fell into a pile of leaves. He watched its path sourly.<p>

Canada flinched at the noise and lowered his rifle. He turned to Prussia, frustrated. "You have to be quiet."

"I thought hunting would be fun! Not all boring and quiet."

"It would be fun. If we could _find _something to hunt. You're scaring everything away."

"At least we're spending time together."

Canada felt a smile pull at his lips and he covered his blush with the eyesight of his gun. He scanned the sharp hills, swinging back to a fluff of brown fur. Over the ridge, a deer lowered its head to nibble at the thin grass. Canada put a finger over the trigger.

"But did you hear what Austria said about me? Germany had to tell me. No one else would. They kept laughing at me!"

The buck lifted its head and bounded out of range as Prussia's cries echoed in the forest. Canada threw down the weapon with a angry sigh.

"Yes. Austria was very mean. But if you believe yourself to be above him, why do you listen to him?"

"Because everyone else does! Did you not hear the part about them all laughing? I have to save my awesome reputation."

"Yes…" Canada spotted a turkey dash from the cover of a bush and had half a mind to try for the shot when there was a crush and a gunshot. Both men jumped as the brambles behind them rustled.

"Ow! Ow, hey! Canada", America whined. He fell out from the leaves, a branch in his hair, his glasses askew, and his cheeks and arms were covered with bruises and scratches. "I couldn't find you, man."

"Maybe that was the point."

"What?" The American stood up, wincing, and brushed himself off. "Anyway, your place is really dangerous."

"Or you're just too oblivious to see the roots in your way", Canada told him. So much for the quiet afternoon. This wasn't going to work. "Is there anything else you two want to do?"

"Let's go skiing!"

"It's the middle of Spring, America", Canada groaned. He caught Prussia's eyes, dark with mischief, and he narrowed his own pale violet orbs. "No drugs either."

"Whoa, calm down birdie", Prussia said, feeling totally not guilty because he definitely hadn't been thinking about drugging Canada.

"You guys getting hungry", America asked. "Let's go to McDonald's!"

"We had that for bre-"

"Alright! Let's go!"

* * *

><p>Hungary put down her magazine and placed it neatly on the stack of others on the barber shop's table. She stood up and waited for Prussia to come back into the waiting room.<p>

Her eyes went up to his haircut – which was exactly the same, what was the point of even coming here then? – and she blinked when she spotted the giant red dot in the middle of his forehead. She snickered.

Prussia caught her gaze. He narrowed his eyes and rubbed at the spot between his eyebrows with a finger. "Don't laugh. They said I had a unibrow and just started pulling at my face."

Hungary out-right laughed and he scowled.

"The awesome me commanded you not to laugh! The awesome me also commands ten bucks."

"For what? More of your Heinekens?"

"No! 'Cause America wiped what little cash I had at McDonald's earlier so I don't have any for this and we gotta pay." He grinned. "But are you offering?"

She slammed her shoulder bag into his face. Another red mark blossomed on his pale cheek. "You use my car and now my money? Why don't you get something actually useful, you worthless slob, like a gym membership? Maybe then you'd have something to gloat about."

Prussia rubbed his sore jaw. "Whatever, _Mom_."

Hungary whirled. "What did you call me?"

Prussia's hands flew to protect his manhood and he ran out of the shop screaming. Hungary watched him with a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Whoo! We're almost to the end guys! We have two more chapters to get through. Two more awful chapters XD

But don't worry! I have another idea coming up! In a little bit, I'm planning to do a 100 day challenge. 100 days for the time I have left spent in my home town before college~ I thought it would be fun idea! So yeah, there's that to look forward to in about two weeks.

But for now, please continue to enjoy the daily life of Prussia!

I still don't won Hetalia. I still don't own "I'm Awesome".

* * *

><p>The three days were over with. The countries were going home. But for Prussia, the trip home seemed to pass in a blur. One moment Germany was kicking him out of the hotel room, yelling at the top of his lungs and throwing the full suitcases out the door, and the next they were in a plane, the wheels sparking as they screeched to a halt on pavement.<p>

The drive home went in a blink of the eyes. He didn't know if the sight of the house, cresting over the horizon, made him happy or uneasy.

Prussia flinched at the sound of the car door slamming, the car even rocking. He heard Germany's heavy footfalls pound to the back of the car where he all but ripped the trunk off its hinges to get the suitcases out. He didn't bother to look for his brother; Germany tore open the passenger door open and growled a gruff, "Get out."

Prussia stepped out of the car slowly and took one of the cases. "West-"

"_Nein_, Bruder", Germany barked, turning to glare at Prussia with icy blue eyes. His face was red in his anger and he gripped the handle of his case tight enough it turned his knuckles white. "I do not want to hear any more or your side of the story. I've had enough."

"But, Germany-"

"_Enough_", the blond roared. "Enough of your apologizes as well." He unlocked the door to the house but didn't enter or even open it. "Every time", he muttered.

"West?"

"You do this every time! I bring you somewhere – no – you tag along like a leech, and only cause trouble for myself. Do you know how much work I had to go through to calm everything down because of your insolence? That man wanted you to pay for his dry cleaning bill and his visit to the hospital to get stitches; the bar owner wanted his own repermandations; do I even need to bring up the tab you piled up one me?"

"I was-"

"I don't want to hear it", Germany sighed.

Prussia bristled. "I'm going to keep at it until you even bother to listen, Arschloch! You're so quick to listen to others but not even to me?"

"Because they're more reliable than you!"

"They're all just p-"

"Why won't you quiet?"

"Because I guess I got the stubbornness from sticking around you", Prussia snorted.

"Then maybe you should spend more time with Austria. Maybe you'll become a bit more responsible. I'd like to know where you got the rest of your attitude from, because it wasn't him."

"I guess you got all the good qualities from Germania and Aunt Austria", the albino snapped.

Germany threw open the door and it smashed into the wall behind it. When it swung back to catch the latch, there was a hole in the plaster from the doorknob. "Go unpack."

"You can't tell me what to do", Prussia defended meekly, already ascending the stairs.

"Your room. Now!"

Prussia did the only thing he could do at a time like this. He pulled out his awesome diary and grabbed a pen before flopping onto his bed.

Confined to his room (for Germany had 'grounded' him as punishment for his behavior. But Prussia just thought the blond was embarrassed. That is, until Prussia strolled out of his room and his younger brother had come after him with his whip and a face as cold and hard as stone. That was enough for him to stay out.) he had done whatever possible to keep himself occupied.

He had started with pawing through his clothes. That had resulted in minimal success, since the only interesting item he found was an ill-fitting suit, and he couldn't even remember buying one. He'd tried calling people, but no one answered' Prussia suspected Germany had told everyone about his isolation beforehand. So he had switched to looking through his ring tones and was disgusted to find a Taylor Swift one. Maybe America had done it one time when they were drunk?

He didn't have any money, so he couldn't get anything awesome off the Internet. Or bribe anyone to steal him away.

Prussia flipped to the first empty page in his diary, his pen resting one the edge of the paper. He tapped the book, even beginning to click the pen as he tried to think of something awesome he'd done.

_Dear Awesome Me._

_ The only good thing about this is that I'm sleeping soon. _


	7. Chapter 7

Prussia raised a hand to the door, almost feebly. His knuckles were already red and smarting from the furious pounding they had already both given and taken when he had tried to smash the door down. Of course, it didn't work, because this was Germany's house and Prussia's brother was known for his tight security.

Which meant the door was mostly likely steel just painted to look like wood and had some sort of extremely long code to open it. Because it sure as hell wasn't opening from the inside!

"West," the albino whined, his knuckles resting against the (steel) door. "Let the awesome me out of this totally unawesome room. It's so not cool that I'm going to die!"

"Nein. You must learn punishment."

Why was this killjoy even sticking around, Prussia thought moodily. Probably to get some kind of sick amusement out of discomfort. The bastard. "West! I'll do anything, wirklich! Just let me out, bitte!"

"How about this then: I will let you out when you stop calling yourself awesome?"

Prussia gasped, wounded. "But I _am _awesome! I am the embodiment of awesomeness! You know that I can't deny myself my destiny of being the most awesome thing on this planet! You can't deny the truth either!"

"Then it looks like I will have to deny your pleas to get out as well."

Prussia wanted to kick something. Not the door, of course, he had learned that lesson already. The walls were probably just as enforced as the wooden-really-steel door, and the bed was grounded to the floor. So he settled for the trashcan instead.

The little aluminum can tipped over and a few crumpled papers and an old candy wrapper tumbled out onto the floor. Prussia frowned at the garbage. Well, that hadn't been anywhere near satisfying.

He jumped onto the bed with a groan, the only real piece of furniture besides the overturned trashcan, a lamp, and a desk. Germany was really strict about his room; they're couldn't be any distractions. The room had no television, not even a radio! And his brother had thrown him into Germany's room and it didn't look like he would let him out anytime even remotely close to soon, so it didn't seem like Germany would transfer him to his own room instead.

No Call of Duty with his bros because his Xbox was in his room. Boooo.

"Hey! Hey, West!"

Prussia thought he heard his younger brother groan before answering with a muttered, "Ja?"

"Can I come out now?"

"Nein. You stay."

"Okay…" A minute passed. Or, so he thought since there was no _clock _either. "West? Bruder?"

"You cannot come out, Pruβen!"

"I was just asking, Bankert! Mein Gott," he muttered. He waited another minute (he thought. After counting twenty seconds it became really boring). "Hey, Germany?"

"I will tape your mouth shut! Do you want that? I do not think so, you I do not want to hear another word from you! You may not come out of that room and you will stay there until I deem fit!"

"Okay, okay! Don't blow a fuse, West. Or an aneurysm. Mein Gott…yelling is totally unawesome. It hurts my awesome ears."

But, just in case Germany did decide to come in with some industrial tape for his awesome mouth, Prussia stayed as far from the door as he could.

The minute ticked by, one after the other, antagonizingly slow. No one did ever call him. Prussia had checked his phone almost three times a minute. He had checked his pockets ever so often to make sure a few dollars hadn't just magically appeared to maybe bribe France or Spain, or even that Romano kid into saving him from this hell. He'd even checked Germany's pant's pockets, not that he had any hope because Germany wouldn't carelessly leave any money laying around. Nit after all that trouble with inflation.

But, no one came. No one called. Not even his awesome diary helped to entertain him as he waited out his punishment.


End file.
